The Man, The Myth, The Guy Who Can't Jungle, Tyler Falasco
Tyler Falasco is a dark/faggot type Pokemon found in the humid regions of his girlfriend's pussy. He is well known for his eccentric tendencies and fucking on the stairs. One time, when me and Tyler were hanging out at his house, I saw him reach into his pants and pull out a small dog. The utterly repulsive look on his face kept me from voicing any concern or questions about the dog. Almost as quickly as he revealed the dog, it was gone, as he devoured it with nary a bite. I have never been the same since this incident, I feel like I am being watched every time I am near or conversing with this monster wearing human flesh. Tyler also enjoys playing a multitude of video games in his spare time, some examples of these games are: World of Warcraft, League of Legends, Rapelay, and other family friendly games. Tyler currently works at noodles and company and is quite proud of his work there, going so far as to destroy non-noodlers who dare to disrespect his beloved workplace. Tyler is also an avid fan of Pepsi and other Pepsi products, showing his dedication to it by ingesting it in any way he can, be it orally, anally, or many other ways. Another story from when I was with Tyler, albeit a more "intimate" setting, he whipped his penis and showed it to me. At first I was flattered, I had always held feelings for him, but soon, the butterflies in my stomach dropped dead in disgust. His cock was normal, but his testicles had small faces on them, and they were contorted in fear as if they had seen some eldritch horror. Tyler seemed to be either used to this or simply had no idea of the faces upon his scrotum. I was so repulsed by this that I retched in my mouth. Tyler sighed and put his genitals away. Every since that day I have been unable to see testicles without seeing faces frozen in fear imposed on them. Tyler also smokes around a pack a day, sometimes more depending upon whether work was stressful, and has developed lung cancer as a result. Another experience I have had with Tyler was when I was with him in his old room. He once shared it with his twin brother Hunter Falasco. We were in his room and his mother brought about his little sister. I was astonished by her extremely pale complexion as she was with my brown tinge. She began to go apeshit at the very sight of my melanin enhanced epithelial layer. As this happened Tyler decided that he had enough of his little bitch sister crying. And so, he proceeded to shove his 3 inch threat directly into his sisters throat. I was disgusted and immediately began to convulse as I could see an imprint of his phallus through his sister's throat. Ever since that day, I have been terrified of any child screaming, for I envision a distraught Tyler using his johnson as a bikini. From that day forward, he was known to all as "The Pacifier". Tyler also can not pronounce Gatorade correctly. Tyler cannot play Gangplank very well. He has also been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Early Life Tyler was born October 3rd, 1998 on a bright, sunny day in Philadelphia. His period in the womb was not one of serenity, but rather a brutish struggle to survive. Due to a split in the power generator's flow within his creator, two separate, yet equal entities were created who would have to combat with one another to gain sentience. These were Tyler, the Abomination, and Hunter, his serial rapist counter-part. Due to Tyler's vastly superior intellect, capacity to conduct the magical energies of the Chinese sexual tactics, and his similarities to a green card, he would have seemed to eclipse his sibling in the power struggle. However, this was a long-fought battle for survival, one that could only have been equated due to the primitive strength Hunter was able to command. Being able to call upon the sexual energies of every woman he would meet, both past and future, he would be able to summon forth the seemingly endless amount of World of Warcraft pets he had accumulated, offspring he had forcibly implanted into his prey, and his battle cry that could make even Micaela's mother flee in terror. Their first clash was the deadliest. They say those who land the first strike hold the advantage, a strategy Tyler would utilize to the fullest extent. Being a master of approximately seventeen different forms of martial arts, one could say he knew his way around a fight, but nobody knew his true weapon. People can be taught to fight for a cause, but they would never truly dedicate their life to it without having something at stake. This something, was Tyler's one true love, anime. Due to his connection to the Asian moving pictures, he was able to summon forth strength that his sibling could never imagine. Landing the first blow onto his brother using the power of the Staircase Slice, he drew his sibling's blood first, staining his hair red similar to a certain anime character he once cosplayed as. Finding himself with the upper hand, empowered by his love for his two-dimensional female counter-parts, he moved in for the finishing blow. He thought to himself, "There is no way that anybody could ever match my intelligence, for I am able to comprehend Rick and Morty!" This emblazoned arrogance would be the critical deficit that his sibling would pounce upon, a weakness that even his peerless intellect would not be able to predict. Due to his sibling's ability to sense feminine musk from approximately a seventy-two light years distance, (varying distance, still undetermined how far it can reach) he would be able to pounce upon any form it comes in, be it tangible or not. Tyler's fault in this battle would lie in his inability to control his cognitive image of the love of his life, which would allow for his sibling to siphon the power he needed to unleash his most lethal finishing strike, Autism.